In this episode you will learn:

  • The Definition of Living Wholeheartedly
  • The 10 Guideposts to Wholehearted Living
  • If You Are In Fact Living a Wholehearted Life
  • Ways To Help You Live A Life You LOVE



I am Lori Lander founder of Lori Lander Coaching and I help midlife moms realize their full potential to thrive and live vibrant authentic lives. 

Although Being a midlife mom can be exciting for some, many struggle with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, lack of purpose, and the list goes on. 

On this channel, I will be talking about all things related to being a midlife mom. I specialize in female empowerment and  I believe that now, more than ever, it is vital for females to uphold core values, embrace their uniqueness, and stand in their integrity. 

 My personal mission is to empower you on your journey toward fulfillment and my hope for you is to not just survive but to THRIVE at this time of your life.  

Now before we dive into this week’s episode, if you have not done so already, make sure and press the subscribe button to ensure you do not miss a single episode.

So are you ready to find out if you are living a wholehearted life?

Let’s do this!

I want to begin with a quote by Dr Brene Brown who is a world-renowned author, speaker, and research professor at the University of Houston. Through her extensive research, she uncovered that there are 10 Guideposts to Wholehearted Living. 

Brene quotes:

“Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’ It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

Today I am going to break down for you 10 guideposts to wholehearted living and help you figure out if you are living wholeheartedly. Take note as I go through these guideposts to see how many of them you are practicing daily in your life and also those areas that you may want to improve. 

So the first guidepost is Cultivating authenticity and letting go of what other people think. Being authentic is defined as being 100% ourselves and not a version of what we think we should be or who someone else wants us to be. When our words and actions are in alignment with our core values, our beliefs, and our feelings, THIS is when we are being truly authentic.  Now…It is important to realize that in order to cultivate authenticity and stay true to yourself daily …you MUST be willing to let go of what other people think. This can be challenging for some people … I know for me I have to remind myself on the daily that as long as I am living a life of integrity, honesty and love, I do not have to worry about what others think of me or my actions…I just know at my core that I am doing what I believe is best. 

The second guidepost is Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go Of Perfectionism. Self-compassion is the practice of being empathetic and loving towards oneself in times of suffering. In other words, treating ourselves as we would treat a loved one who may be struggling. Now here is where it gets tricky….We all have an inner critic which is that negative internal voice that tends to put us down or keep us down in challenging times. This critic can completely derail you and send you into a downward spiral of judgment and negativity.  The key here is to learn to silence that inner critic and let go of trying to be perfect. When we release the need for perfectionism we are able to operate from a genuine space and free ourselves from unrealistic expectations and high standards that we have placed on ourselves.  

The third guidepost is Cultivating Your Resilient Spirit and Letting Go Of Numbing and Powerlessness. Practicing resilience means having the ability to bounce back from disappointments and setbacks rather quickly. The key here is to ensure that when you bounce back you are using healthy strategies to cope emotionally and mentally rather than using numbing tactics such as alcohol or binge eating. 

The fourth guidepost is Cultivating Gratitude and Joy and Letting Go Of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark. Practicing gratitude begins first with awareness. Paying attention to those things around you in your day to day life that most likely you may take for granted. We are all guilty at times of moving through our day with blinders on without embracing the wonderfully simple things that bring us joy. When we do this, we tend to fall into scarcity mode and feel as if we are living with less than. Taking notice of the wonderfully simple things in your day to day life will help you realize how much there is around you to be grateful for. …And on a side note,.. if you are not practicing daily gratitude, I strongly suggest that you begin this practice today. It is one of the simplest strategies to incorporate into your daily routine and one of the most rewarding. This simple act can actually help rewire your brain into focusing more on what is working and what is good in your life rather than what is not working. 

The fifth guidepost is Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith and Letting Go Of the Need For Certainty. Trusting our intuition and embracing faith can be a very scary practice but one that is essential for personal growth. Adopting the habit of getting comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty will allow you to trust in the process as it unfolds.

The sixth guidepost is Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go Of Comparison. Cultivating Creativity means enjoying the process without having a fear of the outcome. It is also important to note that as humans we all have the ability to be creative. Creativity is not just about being artistically gifted with the ability to draw, paint or write music. There are countless ways to be creative and creating can give you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. But …you DO want to be aware that with creativity there can also be comparison. Comparison fuels competition and conformity which can stifle creativity dead in its tracks.  In order to ignite your creativity and make it a priority, you must let go of the urge to compare, compete, and conform and just allow yourself the time for your creative juices to flow.

The seventh guidepost is Cultivating Play and Rest and Letting Go Of Exhaustion As A Status Symbol and Productivity As Self Worth. Play and rest are an integral part of living a wholehearted life and is paramount to our well-being.  Through Dr, Brown’s research, she found that the main barrier to being able to rest and play is that exhaustion has become a status symbol and productivity has become a symbol of self-worth. I can personally relate to this as I once bought into this belief system that if I wasn’t busy and productive, I wasn’t worthy. I learned the hard way that if you do not allow time for both play and rest,  you will eventually burn out. So if you love to constantly be on the go with no downtime or fun time, I challenge you to take pause,  go play a game and then take a nap. Allowing play and rest will give you and your body a chance to refuel and re-energize. And there is nothing better than feeling well-rested, refreshed, and motivated regularly in your life. 

The eighth guidepost is Cultivating Calm and Stillness and Letting Go Of Anxiety As A Lifestyle.
Creating Calm in your life is about taking a moment to put on the brakes in a situation where you may be feeling anxious, and allow yourself to think clearly without reacting on an emotional level. Creating Stillness is the second part of this where you are able to create a quiet and peaceful space in your mind to reflect and process your thoughts. Practice this the next time a situation occurs where you are feeling stressed and remember what I call “the pause” where you take a moment to get your thoughts clear and then create a space for self-reflection before responding. 

The ninth guidepost is Cultivating Meaningful Work and Letting Go Of Self – Doubt And “Supposed-To”. Uncovering your true gifts and talents and then using them to create meaningful work is key to living a wholehearted life. Being engaged in meaningful work can create a strong sense of meaning and purpose. But you must be aware of self-doubt and the burden of the fear-based “supposed to” voice inside which wants to hold you back by telling you you’re not special enough to do what you love. Having an awareness that these negative voices are just that, voices, and not reality, will help you squash the self-destructive thoughts and focus on your true gifts. 

The tenth and final guidepost is Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance, and Letting Go Of “Cool” and Always in Control.  As easy as it may sound to cultivate laughter, song, and dance, this was a hard one for me. Although I love to laugh, sing, and dance my alter ego likes to be in control and is obsessed with the “Cool” factor. Letting go of my alter ego and allowing myself to let loose has been something that I continue to work on. Letting go of the need to present yourself in a certain way will free you from hiding behind a mask and will allow you to fully embrace your authentic self, enjoy laughing, singing, and dancing and allow others to see the real you. 

Whew! Well, we got through all ten guideposts and I hope you have some amazing takeaways that you can begin implementing in your life today. 

But, before we wrap up I want to circle back to the question I asked you earlier…which was…Are you living a wholehearted life? I would love to hear from you. 

Learning to live wholeheartedly is a daily practice that can be life-changing. The most important thing to remember is to be unapologetically your true authentic self 100% of the time. 

I want to thank you for watching today and I look forward to seeing you back here next week.

Have a great week and make today Your day!

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