I was sitting at the kitchen counter, in the home I’d always imagined I would live in. My children’s high school graduation announcements are still hanging on the refrigerator, and the flowers my husband bought for Mother’s Day are in full bloom. I am truly blessed with a loving marriage, amazing children, and a happy home — and yet I still felt a heaviness in my heart.
I had spent the past 23 years pouring every ounce of energy and attention into my children, my marriage, and my job. As a result, I developed a mindset of correlating my inner self-worth to how much I could do for others — and now that I was no longer constantly needed by my children, I wondered if I still had a purpose.
I believed that if I wasn’t actively doing, serving, or providing something to someone, then I was not lovable, valuable, or worthy.
My confidence and ultimately, my happiness resided in factors outside of myself that were completely out of my control.
What I wanted now was to rearrange these thought patterns and find purpose beyond being needed by my children, husband, and job. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do hard things, that I still had the ability to become anything I wanted to be, and most importantly — show that to my adult children and be an example for them that anything is possible at any age.
It was at that moment that I realized the only way I was going to be able to accomplish this was to put on my own oxygen mask first and learn how to truly love myself as I am.
I decided to embrace the change wholeheartedly and enter into a new era of my life where my needs became a priority.
As a woman in my 50s, I still had so many goals to accomplish and there was a next-level version of myself that I still wanted to strive for. In no way had I felt like I reached my full potential, so I focused my attention on who I wanted to become.
This led to a bigger identity shift than I ever could have imagined.
Through this work, I had the courage to create my own brand and start a business which has given me more personal fulfillment and financial security than any other job I’ve had before. I embraced a new personal style that feels aligned with how I’m carrying myself in this season, contributing to a greater sense of confidence. I’ve also proven to myself that it is NEVER too late to change for the better. To elevate, strive for more, and embark on new journeys.
I now see my age not as a hindrance or a lack of time, but as a valuable experience rich with knowledge. I ruminate less on what’s passed, I focus my attention on all that is to come, and I look forward to it with enthusiasm.
Embracing change is what allowed me to access authentic confidence, deep fulfillment, and genuine happiness.
The problem is that society and media have convinced women in their 50s and 60s that the best years of their lives are behind them. When in actuality, statistics show that middle-aged women feel more confident and content than ever. However, if we refuse to embrace change, we run the risk of ruminating in lack mentality and fear — robbing ourselves of all the good that’s available to us.
If you want to learn more about how to embrace change, check out my free First Step to Change training, and make sure you come back next week for another blog post.