In this episode you will learn:

  • How negative self-talk can affect you over time
  • One powerful practice that you can begin using right now
  • A simple 3 step method that can stop your inner critic cold in her tracks


Transcript: How To Stop Negative Self Talk 

Hello and welcome.

My name is Lori Lander founder of Lori Lander Coaching and I help women who may be feeling disconnected, unfulfilled, or stuck in life create an exciting new chapter filled with passion, purposeful work, meaningful relationships, and connections with a like-minded tribe.  I specialize in female empowerment, while uplifting women to help them realize their full potential to thrive and live vibrant, authentic lives.

Today I am going to be talking about how to stop negative self-talk.

Have you ever stopped to take notice of how you speak to yourself? Is your inner dialogue primarily positive or negative? Are you judgemental or critical of yourself?   Or  Do you practice self-compassion?

These are important questions to ask yourself.

In this episode I am going to be talking about:

  • How negative self-talk can affect you over time
  • One powerful practice that you can begin using right now
  • A simple 3 step method that can stop your inner critic cold in her tracks

Now I want to begin by first discussing what self-talk is in general. It is that internal chatter or dialogue that we have with ourselves. And sometimes we may even catch ourselves speaking out loud. Or, in my case, someone else may catch you. Like when I am in the middle of a project and one of my daughters or my husband will come into the room and catch me mumbling away in my own little world with me, myself, and I. So please know that self-talk is very normal and we all tend to do it.

Now, there are two types of self-talk that I am going to discuss today. One can support you and the other can sabotage you. I will begin with negative self-talk.

Many women struggle terribly with negative self-talk. They beat themselves up, call themselves names and at times this negative inner- chatter can be unrelenting. Over time, the negativity can really take its toll on you if you do not learn how to manage this and can result in anxiety, self-doubt, stress, and even depression.

On the contrary, positive self-talk is a powerful practice that can curb negative emotions and encourage overall well-being. It can help you cope effectively, build self-confidence, and is an important part of resilience. And the best part is you can begin practicing positive self-talk right now.

So you may be wondering, “is it really possible to stop this negative chatter when I begin ruminating over and over and over in my head”? And ….if so,  you may also be wondering “how do I do it”?

Well….the answer is…  YES….. you absolutely can stop your inner-critic cold in her tracks with 3 simple steps that I like to refer to as the ACT method. A-C-T.

This method is pretty straight forward and to the point. And  I believe that anyone can adopt this simple method and you can begin right now…So let me explain in more detail what the ACT method is.

The A stands for Awareness. First, you must be aware of the negativity as soon as it begins bubbling up. Take note of what you are saying to yourself. If it helps you can label or name the negative self-talk to bring attention to this hurtful and damaging chatter. This will also help disrupt the negative dialogue and put a stop to it. Once the chatter has ceased you can move to the second step.

The C stands for Challenge. Second, you want to challenge your inner critic and ask yourself “Is this really true? Is this negative chatter just that…chatter? When you stop to challenge or question the negative dialogue, most likely you may realize that there is no validity in this dialogue. You may also want to share this chatter with a trusted friend who can help you gain perspective and provide clarity.

This is where the mental shift comes into play and this is when you can move to the third and final step of the ACT method. 

The T stands for Take Control. Third, you want to take control and shift your self-talk from negative to positive. To prepare yourself in advance, think about how you can respond to yourself with self-compassion the next time you catch yourself in a negative spiral. For example,  you can use empowering words, affirmations, or a mantra that brings you joy and boosts your confidence. 

I have a video available where I talk all about positive affirmations in another episode. Feel free to visit to get some ideas.

 You can also think of a song that you love or a wonderful memory that brings a smile to your face. Taking control means that you consciously stop your negative thoughts from spiraling by immediately focusing on something positive. Making a conscious choice to silence the negativity by replacing it with positive self-talk gets easier with practice.

So I want to quickly review once again the 3 steps that I like to refer as the ACT method when you begin thinking negative thoughts that do not serve you.

First, remember the A for awareness.  Become aware of the negative self-talk the minute it begins.

Second is the C for challenge. Challenge your inner-critic by asking yourself if this negative chatter is really true or could you possibly be making this up?

And third is the T for take control. Take control of your negative self-talk and replace the dialogue with positive affirmations, your favorite song, or an empowering mantra.

And remember, the more you practice this method….the easier it becomes to not only recognize the negativity bubbling up but it will also become easier to shift to positive self-talk over time.

I would love to hear how you plan to stop your inner-critic and take control the next time you notice the rumble of negative self-talk. Planning ahead will help prepare you when the time comes. Please leave a comment below and share one positive action that you can take. Your suggestions may help others!

I am Lori Lander, founder of Lori Lander Coaching. Wishing you lots of love this week and I look forward to seeing you back here next week.  

Have a great week!

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