In this episode you will learn:

  • If you lack self-compassion.
  • What self-compassion is and why it is an important part of self-care
  • One powerful self-compassion exercise that you can do right now.
  • 2 resources that I highly recommend you read.

Although self-compassion may be a foreign concept for many,  extensive research has found that there is a positive correlation between psychological well- being and self-compassion.

In addition, many believe those who practice self-compassion have healthier social connections, a stronger sense of self-worth and are happier overall.

If you are struggling with self-compassion, are really hard on yourself, feeling stuck in your life and ready for a change…. schedule your FREE 30-minute Breakthrough Coaching Session today with me by clicking HERE.

CLICK HERE to learn the First Essential Step To Making A Change In Your Life!

Join The Female Empowerment Community HERE!


Hello and welcome back.

I am Lori Lander Founder of Lori Lander Coaching and I help midlife moms and women in transition who feel lonely, disconnected and unfulfilled create an exciting new chapter filled with purpose, passion and connection. I specialize in female empowerment, while uplifting women to help them realize their full potential to thrive and live a vibrant, authentic life. As a mother of three girls, I have passionately dedicated my adult life to female empowerment.

Every week, right here,   you will learn about all things related to self improvement and personal growth as a midlife mom. 

As a midlife mom and a soon to be empty nester, I have learned the importance of taking the time to care for myself.  I certainly know that it is not always easy, but it is necessary in order to love the life you are living.

Today I am going to be talking about Self-Compassion which is an important part of self care.

But first I have a few questions for you:

When you make a mistake, do you beat yourself up and ruminate about how you could have done things differently?

When you are feeling down or struggling, do you feel as though everyone has it better than you? Or do you feel alone in your struggles?

When you fail at something you have worked hard on, do you feel like you are a failure in life? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with a lack of self-compassion. 

Self compassion is defined as providing compassion to oneself in the same way you would offer compassion to someone you love who may be suffering. In other words being compassionate and empathetic towards yourself with what you are going through.  The word compassion means “to suffer with” .  When you have compassion for yourself you respond to your own pain by treating yourself with care, kindness and understanding  free of judgement , self criticism and pity.     Simply stated, Treat  , and speak to, yourself the way you would treat someone you love.

There are many ways to practice self- compassion and I am going to introduce you to  a powerful self compassion exercise that I learned from Dr. Kristin Neff that entails writing a letter to yourself. So please grab a pen and a piece of paper or your journal, get comfortable and relax. . As you are doing this exercise feel free to pause the video in order to take the necessary time you need.  Now think for a moment about a time recently in your life when you were struggling. Write down the situation in great length. How did this situation make you feel?  (Sad? Angry? Depressed? Scared? Anxious?  Inadequate? etc…) What emotions came up for you?  GO ahead and write them down. Now… take a moment …to just feel these emotions. Observe how you are feeling  and allow them to pass through you without getting attached to them. Now think about  an imaginary  dear friend, someone who you are very close with and who loves you unconditionally. ( You can also think of a real person who has great love and respect for you in your life if you choose)  Imagine that this dear friend knows exactly what you have been struggling with, He/ She feels what you feel,  and she knows all of your strengths and weaknesses,     and accepts you exactly as you are.    Now take a moment to write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this compassionate imaginary friend.  What would this imaginary friend say to you in this time of struggle? How would this friend express their compassion towards you for what you are going through? Would he/she give you a hug? Sit with you and hold your hand and tell you everything will be okay? Take a minute to imagine how this friend would offer you love, understanding, kindness, and acceptance. Then write down your thoughts.  Once you feel complete with this letter, put it away for awhile. Then come back to it and read it all the way through and allow the words on the page to sink in. Allow the compassion to enter your heart and allow the love and comfort to surround you and embrace you. 

I hope you found this exercise helpful. Feel free to share in the comments below how this exercise has impacted you positively and how you plan on continuing to practice self-compassion from now on.

 If you want to learn more about Self-Compassion I highly recommend you read two books written by Dr. Kristin Neff,  Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind and Self- Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.

And now I will leave you with a Native American wisdom story which is told by an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” 

AND…  if you are struggling with self compassion, are really hard on yourself,  feeling stuck,  lacking purpose or you are feeling unfulfilled in your life…. schedule your complimentary 30 minute Breakthrough Coaching Session  today by clicking on the link below!

Make today YOUR day.


CLICK HERE to learn the First Essential Step To Making A Change In Your Life!

Join The Female Empowerment Community HERE!

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