In this episode you will learn:
- What reframing is and why it is important
- What our brains are wired to do when we are feeling out of control
- How reframing helped me through a scary situation with my daughter.
- The 4 questions you must ask yourself when you are faced with a stressful situation and you do not have all of the facts
>>>CLICK HERE<<< to Learn the First Step To Making A Change In Your Life
TRANSCRIPT:
Hello and welcome. I am Lori Lander founder of Lori Lander Coaching and I have a question for you…. Are you wanting to make a change in your life and are not quite sure how to begin or what your first step should be??? If so …. Take your first small step and CLICK on the link below this video to receive a free and short mini-training that explains The First Essential Step To Make a Change In Your Life, that also comes with a powerful download for you so you can begin taking this first step to making a change today…..So make sure and click on the link below to receive this free mini-training.
So today I am going to be talking about reframing and how this simple strategy can save you from spending countless hours feeling anxious and obsessing about a stressful situation that has occurred in your life.
In this episode you will learn:
- What reframing is and why it is important
- What our brains are wired to do when we are feeling out of control
- How reframing helped me through a scary situation with my daughter.
- The 4 questions you must ask yourself when you are faced with a stressful situation and you do not have all of the facts
So let’s get to it!
I want to first explain what Reframing is in case this is a new concept for you. Reframing is simply a way to look at a situation with an open mind and it helps you broaden your perspective and it involves asking yourself powerful questions that will lead to more empowering thoughts about a situation that may be causing you stress.
And reframing is important because it is a powerful and effective tool that you can use anytime that you may be feeling anxious, stressed, or worried about a situation to help you gain control of your thoughts and save you from jumping to unhealthy and disempowering conclusions that can cause you more harm than good.
In order to help you gain clarity around this process, I want to give you an example of a situation that happened to me recently where reframing helped me through some negative thoughts that were getting the best of me…. And this is a common one you may be able to relate to. So a few weeks ago my teenage daughter Haley went out with some friends on a Friday night and she is usually really good at responding to my texts when I check in with her. So I sent her a text and waited for her reply. Then I got busy doing other things around the house and when I realized that an hour had gone by and I still had not heard from her…I immediately began to worry.
So at first, I started to feel some angst …. and then anger that she had not replied to me ….and then the anger quickly turned into worry. At that moment, I realized that I was heading into a negative thought spiral and I immediately stopped myself and began the reframing process by asking myself 4 questions:
First I asked myself: “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?” Well, I was telling myself that something horrible had happened to her because she did not respond in a timely manner. I went to the worst-case scenario in my mind in about two seconds flat.
Second I asked myself “ Is this story I am telling myself based on facts?
Other than the fact that she had not responded and that she was out with friends, those were the only facts I had at that time. So the story that I was telling myself was not fully factual. I was beginning to create an entirely fictitious story in my mind about what I THOUGHT was going on…but there were no facts to back up this story that I had created in mind. And on a side note ….our brains are wired to create a story as quickly as possible when we are feeling out of control…no matter how crazy the stories may be that we are making up … but our minds need a story to help us come to some type of understanding about what is going on in that moment.
So after I came to the realization that the story I was telling myself was not entirely factual…I began to settle down a bit and then I asked myself a third question….
I asked myself ….”Is this story really true?”
After fact-checking I realized that I didn’t t know if it was really true…so I couldn’t say for sure…this is where I began to open my mind up to the possibility that there may be something else going on besides the fictitious story that I had created that something horrible had happened to her… and as I answered this third question in my mind, my nerves began to settle a bit more and then I asked the fourth question to myself which was…
” What else could be going on here?” This is where I was able to gain some fresh perspective and entertain other possibilities as to why she may not have texted me back yet… This Shift in perspective was very powerful for me and saved me from going into a full-blown panic attack…I started to create some other scenarios of what could have happened including maybe her phone died or maybe she missed my text. So I texted her again and she texted me back almost immediately. When I asked her why she had not texted me back the first time she told me that she was driving around with friends and was not looking at her texts. I had not even thought of that scenario! And thank goodness she did not text me back while she was driving!
So now you can see how reframing your thoughts around any situation where you do not have all of the facts allows you the opportunity to change the way you view any given situation or set of circumstances.
So this is a really helpful and empowering way for you to better manage situations moving forward that cause you stress.
So to recap the 4 questions that you can ask yourself to help you reshape your reality when you are faced with a stressful situation or circumstance and don’t have all of the facts:
First, ask “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?”
Then Second ask yourself “Is this story I am telling myself based on facts?”
Third, ask ”Is this story really true?” and….
And then fourth ask yourself ” What else could be going on here?”
Taking the time to ask yourself these 4 questions when you are feeling stuck, confused or upset about a situation that has occurred, may help keep you from encountering a huge misunderstanding or keep you from becoming fixated on a story that has been created out of fear or angst.
I strongly encourage you to try reframing by asking yourself these four questions the next time you find yourself in a situation that is causing your stress.
I hope that you found value in today’s episode. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead and I look forward to you tuning in next week for my next episode.
Stay safe and healthy!
CLICK HERE to Learn the First Step To Making A Change In Your Life
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