In this episode you will learn:
- Why I am so passionate about this topic
- How to know when it is time to let go
- One bit of advice that was given to me that was a game-changer
- Why letting go is important
- Steps that you can take to let go
CLICK HERE to view the episode “Do You Lack Self-Compassion”?
SUBSCRIBE to my Youtube channel HERE.
Transcript: Letting Go and Why It Is Important
Hello and welcome. My name is Lori Lander founder of Lori Lander Coaching and I help women who may be feeling disconnected, unfulfilled, or stuck in life create an exciting new chapter filled with passion, purposeful work, meaningful relationships, and connections with a like-minded tribe.
If you have not done so already, make sure and click on the link below to subscribe to my youtube channel so you do not miss a single episode!
Today I am going to be talking all about letting go of those relationships which no longer serve you.
In this episode you will learn:
- Why I am so passionate about this topic
- How to know when it is time to let go
- One bit of advice that was given to me that was a game-changer
- Why letting go is important
- And Steps that you can take to let go
Many women spend a majority of their time getting attached to people, places, things, thoughts, and emotions that really do not serve them in the best way possible.
When we surround ourselves with that which does not serve us we tend to end up in struggle.
Letting go is definitely something that I have struggled with over the years as I am one who likes to hold onto tightly. I will share with you a bit about me to help you understand why I am so passionate about this topic.
I created a story in my head when I was young that “I must hold on tightly to those I love… no matter what”. I took this statement to heart and lived by it. I loved those who were in my life fiercely and without compromise… no matter what. Although, as time went on and certain relationships in my life began to change, I learned that holding on was actually causing me unhappiness and stress.
But, I was confused. Because I still had that statement blaring in my head that “I must hold on tightly…no matter what”. I lived many years of my life trying to hang on to what used to be and hoping that what was will be again…. But time would go by and some relationships in my life would leave me feeling empty, lonely, and sometimes drained. The fact was… the relationships I had with certain people had changed…. And so had I.
I realized that by hanging on to what once was, actually was causing me to not only live in the past but I was missing out on my present life and those relationships that were bringing me joy and peace.
I also realized that I needed to delete the old tape that I kept playing over and over in my head “That I must hold on tightly to those I love… no matter what”. So… I worked hard on my mindset and I deleted my old story.
This was really freeing for me.
I realized that by allowing myself to let go of what used to be, I was able to be fully present in my current reality and embrace those I love who are near and dear to me.
There is a quote I came across that said…”Sometimes people come into your life just to teach you how to let go”. And when I read this…. It sent chills through me. I felt as though the quote was literally written and meant for me.
I now understand that many relationships serve a reason or a season. And this does not necessarily mean that there was not a loving relationship there…it simply means that the relationship served its purpose during that time.
Now, you may be wondering … how do I know when it is time to let go? And if you are wondering, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:
Ask yourself: How do I feel when I spend time with that person? Or when I get off the phone with that person? Happier or anxious?
Does this relationship allow me to show up as my most authentic self?
Does this relationship bring out the best in me?
Do I feel energized, nourished, and supported or drained, lonely, and disconnected when I am with this person?
These are important questions to ask yourself.
You want to surround yourself with those who allow you to be the best version of yourself…. And who allow you to feel good about yourself when you are with them. I tell my daughters this all of the time.
Take notice of how you feel when you are with certain friends and family and also take notice of how you feel after you have been with them. When you are experiencing feelings of self-doubt, negativity, and anxiety from a relationship, these are all signs that you may want to pay attention to.
There was one piece of advice that was given to me which was a complete game-changer in how I viewed my relationships that I have never forgotten and it is a great way to do a self-check.
Ask yourself if you feel lighter or heavier when you are with certain people. If you tend to feel a heaviness when you are around them, it may be time to take a closer look at the relationship.
This was so eye-opening when I began to take notice.
Letting go can be hard at times and I get it. So I want to talk for a moment about why letting go is important if you are in a relationship that is not serving your highest good.
When you hold on tightly to your past and to what was, you tend to hold yourself back from personal growth. And sometimes without even realizing, you end up silencing that small voice from within that is trying to tell us that the time has come for a change. We tend to bury our feelings of unhappiness out of the fear of change. And by burying these feelings and staying put, we make it even harder on ourselves which can result in feeling stuck and powerless.
Leaving the past in the past can be challenging, but it is not nearly as painful as holding onto a relationship that has run its course or staying in a relationship where you no longer belong.
When you come to the realization that your current reality is not in alignment with being your best self and you accept that change is necessary, you allow yourself the opportunity to move forward and step into a healthier and happier life. Also by relinquishing unhealthy relationships, you free yourself from resistance and struggle.
Learning to let go of relationships where your needs are not being met is an important part of self-care and I would now like to share with you a few steps that you can take to help you let go of relationships that are no longer serving you.
First, recognize that there is a disconnect and acknowledge that you may need to make a change.
Second, allow yourself the time and space to practice self-compassion. This is super important. And as a side note, I have a whole episode dedicated to self-compassion on my blog at lorilandercoaching.com/self-compassion and I will also provide a link to the blog in the notes below.
Third, ensure that you surround yourself with positivity, love, and support. I cannot stress this enough. Whether it be a trusted friend, a coach, or a therapist, make sure that you have someone to talk to. The stronger your support system the better, during this transitional time.
And lastly, commit to your future. Begin taking small steps forward. Immerse yourself in doing what you love and doing what lights you up on a daily basis. As you gain momentum and continue to embrace healthy relationships where you feel supported, nourished, and respected…. Letting go becomes easier as time passes.
CLICK HERE to view the episode “Do You Lack Self-Compassion”?
SUBSCRIBE to my Youtube channel HERE.
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