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Are you aware of your personal narrative around your fear? If not, stay tuned!
Many of us have experienced fear as a barrier to embracing change and reaching our full potential. It can paralyze us and prevent us from following through on our goals and our dreams for the future. But the truth is that fear doesn’t have to lead us away from success. We just need to learn how to face it.
When we challenge ourselves to unmask the fear that stands between us and our progress, and gain insight into our personal narrative around that fear, we open ourselves up to new possibilities for growth.
Seeing fear for what it really is – an illusion – gives us the strength to confront it head-on, and when we do this we free ourselves from its grip over us and it allows us take small steps forward.
My name is Lori Lander, Women’s Empowerment Coach and today I am going to be sharing with you:
- How to identify the source of your fear so you can get clear about what is really holding you back
- 8 common fears that many women struggle with
- And one powerful exercise to help you not only manage your fear but help you move through it
Before we dig in I have a quick question for you.
Are you a woman wanting to gain the clarity necessary to make a change in your life, but unsure what your first step should be?
If so, make sure you CLICK HERE or go to LoriLanderCoaching.com/firststeptochange to watch my FREE video training. In this short video, you will learn the FIRST ESSENTIAL step to making a positive change so that you can prioritize what is most important to you, gain peace of mind and the motivation necessary to create an exciting new chapter in your life filled with confidence, purpose, passion, and connection.
In this FREE video you will learn:
- The FIRST essential step to making a change in your life
- 6 Key Elements involved in this FIRST step
- And… a BONUS step (the SECOND step) in the process to keep your momentum going!
PLUS… you will receive a FREE download to help you get started today.
So make sure and click on the link below to attend this mini-training. I am excited for you to learn this simple step-by-step process about how to make a positive change beginning today!
Now I want to talk to you about how to gain insight into your personal narrative around fear. so that you can get clear about what may be holding you back in your life right now.
How To Gain Insight Into Your Personal Narrative Around Fear
First, it’s important to identify the source of your fear.
This can help you understand and address the root cause so that you can move through the fear. Identifying these causes can help to unlock what may be holding you back and provide you with more insight into ways of breaking through the barriers of self-doubt and uncertainty.
One way to do this is by looking for patterns in your actions and your reactions when you experience fear. Also, pay attention to the physical sensations in your body as well as your thoughts and feelings. This can provide you with clues about where the source of the fear may be coming from. You want to make sure that you get super clear about certain narratives that may be running on autoplay in your mind. Also, reflecting on your past experiences that have brought up similar emotions can help to put things into perspective and provide clarity on why you are feeling fearful.
Another powerful way to figure out the root cause of your fear is to set a timer for 15 minutes, grab a journal or open a document on your computer and simply begin writing about your fear. Ask yourself how you are feeling when you are in the thick of it. Write down what you believe may be causing your fear. Then go deeper. Continue to write without editing and see what spills out of you. You may notice certain narratives coming to the surface during this exercise.
After doing these exercises years ago, I was able to identify the root cause of one of my biggest fears, which is the fear of being judged or humiliated. I realized that it actually dated back to when I was in elementary school and the teacher asked me to get up in front of the class to speak about an assignment and I was not prepared. I remember getting up in front of the class and feeling humiliated I was fumbling through my words and feeling as though everyone in the class was staring at me and judging me. I also remember feeling sick to my stomach. I was embarrassed for not preparing better and I worried that my peers and my teacher thought less of me after that experience.
Later in life, I learned that this was a defining moment for me, and from then on I avoided public speaking at all cost. Even in college when I was called on in class by a teacher, I immediately was taken right back to my 5th-grade class where I felt judged by my classmates and my teacher. I had built up so much shame around that experience and kept it quiet for so long, that I created a personal narrative in my mind that in order to protect myself from judgment and humiliation, I was no longer going to participate in any type of public speaking.
Doing this exercise helped me gain the clarity necessary for me to not only dig deep and figure out the root cause of my fear of judgment and humiliation, but I was able to understand that I was holding onto a narrative that no longer served me. Once I came to this powerful realization, I was able to take small steps forward in releasing my fears so that I can move forward.
Although public speaking is still hard for me, I have learned how to work through my fear which I will explain further how to do this in just a bit.
Common Fears
But first I want to share some common fears that many of my clients struggle with including:
- Fear of failure or success
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of criticism or fear of feeling judged or humiliated
- Fear of disappointing someone
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of change
- Fear of being all alone
- Fear of not being good enough
Once you have identified the root of your fear, take some time to focus on it. This is important because so many of us want to run from fear the second we begin to feel it. By running from it, we don’t allow time to lean into the fear so the viscous fear cycle repeats itself over and over again leaving you feeling defeated and frustrated. Having greater self-awareness and a better understanding of your fears can help to build up your courage to confront them head-on so that you can not only challenge their validity as I did, but no longer allow them to stand in the way of your progress anymore.
How To Manage Your Fear
A powerful exercise to help you ease your fear is to focus on the fear, rather than run away from it.
First, place your hands on the part of your body where you feel the fear the strongest. For some people, they feel it in their heart, for others their stomach or maybe you feel it in your head like a headache is brewing. Fear shows up differently for everyone. Continue to focus on that area of your body and take a few slow deep breaths, inhaling for the count of 4 and exhaling for the count of 8. Then acknowledge the fear for what it is without trying to change anything while you continue to breathe slowly. Gently lean into the fear, hold space for it, and observe it. Some people even like to name their fear and have a conversation about it.
When we take the time to look at fear more closely, we can identify it as a temporary, conditioned experience that is actually more manageable than it initially appears to be. After sitting with your fear for even 5 minutes, you may start to notice your fear lessen, and also the physical sensations where you felt the fear may start to subside. I encourage you to challenge your fears and try this exercise the next time you feel fear taking over.
I love this quote by Mark Twain that helps put fear into perspective which says “My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes- most of which never happened”. Such a great quote!
Gaining insight into our personal narrative is an important step in managing fear. By uncovering our triggers, understanding the nature of the fear, and learning strategies to manage it, we can start to take control of our emotions and build resilience against fearful experiences.
Taking the time to gain insight into our personal narrative around fear can be a powerful and transformative tool for developing resilience and inner strength. By recognizing our triggers and patterns of thought and behavior, creating strategies to manage fear, and processing difficult emotions in a healthy way, we can move forward with courage. The great news is that with practice, you can learn how to conquer your fears so that you can reach your full potential.
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