In this episode I will be sharing with you:
- Why you should not take anything personally
- How to actually do this
- And a powerful daily reminder that helps me not take things personally
Are you ready to learn how to NOT take things personally??? SCHEDULE your FREE Breakthrough Call with Lori today HERE: https://calendly.com/lorilandercoaching/yourbreakthroughcall
TRANSCRIPT
When someone says to you “Don’t take anything personally” what is the first thought that comes to mind?
For me when I first heard this statement while listening to the audible book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I could not believe what I was hearing. How in the world am I supposed to not take anything personally???
And my mind immediately started thinking about others’ comments or actions or behaviors that were made to me in the past that I believe were directed at me over the years and I wondered how could I not have taken their comments, actions and behaviors personally?? So to be honest this statement made me sort of angry at first.
How am I supposed to not take anything personally when I believe that some of those comments and behaviors were a direct attack on me?
I decided to continue listening to the book and although I was a bit hesitant…. I was also intrigued to learn more.
And what I want to share with you is what I learned and it really blew my mind.
I am Lori Lander, Confidence Coach for Women and I am so glad that you are tuning in today.
In this episode, I will be sharing with you
- Why you should not take anything personally
- How to actually do this
- And a powerful daily reminder that helps me not take things personally
I want to begin by reading you a paragraph from The Four Agreements that I believe summarizes the meaning of why it is important to not take anything personally. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote:
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own minds; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”
This is really powerful and something that I want to break down for a moment.
The simplicity in this statement makes perfect sense and yet why is it so challenging to actually live by it?
When I broke it down for myself it all became really clear to me and it is so very true. When someone responds in a certain way it has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with what is happening in their world at that moment and also about their own belief system. So if they have something going on in their life that they are struggling with and you run into them at the grocery store and they barely talk to you or act rudely or are dismissive, their behavior has nothing to do with you. It has to do with what is going on in their own world at that moment. The issue comes into play when our worlds collide and we take in or allow in their actions or their words or their behaviors and make it about ourselves by thinking, I wonder if it was something that I said that caused her to respond rudely to me rather than acknowledging that she has a whole other life going on and maybe she is having a bad day.
So when you take something personally you are making the assumption that it is about you and you may also feel responsible for what was said or for their actions or their emotions. Then you may start questioning if it was something that you said or something that you did that caused them to say or respond in a certain way. I know that I used to do that in the past. So you see how we tend to make it about ourselves?
We all have our own belief systems and how we respond or react with others is based on these belief systems. And this is important to remember.
As women, we tend to get offended and then a common reaction is to defend what we believe to be true which then can create conflict. The reason why we do this is that we have the need to be right. We want to prove ourselves. And this is a way of us projecting what is going on in our own world or what we believe to be true.
I really want this to sink in for you. Nothing that other people do or the way they act or what they say to you is because of you. It is about them and about what is going on in their own world and about their own belief system.
Now here is the really great news. Now that you are aware of this and have a better understanding You now have the power to choose moving forward if in fact, you want to take things personally or not. This is a choice that you have the power and the control to make for yourself.
So let me walk you through how you can go about practicing not taking things personally. And this is actually what I do and what I teach my clients as well.
Because this is a really big issue for so many women. So I want to empower you today by teaching you how to do this.
The next time you are in a situation where you can feel yourself beginning to take something personally, take a pause and acknowledge what is going on. This is a powerful first step. What you have done here is created some space between an immediate reaction and you allow yourself a moment to process what is actually going on. This moment also gives you the time to remember that whatever is being said or done at that moment has nothing to do with you. And if it helps to repeat those words to yourself “ this has nothing to do with me” this will help you stay detached and keep you from taking it personally.
There is a great quote by Victor Frankl which says “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.
One powerful way that helps me not take things personally is reading a daily reminder along with my morning affirmations that I have set in my phone that pops up on my screen at 7 every morning and part of it says “You may not be able to control what people say, how people respond or what their actions are but you can make the decision not to be reduced by them”. This helps remind me as I go into my day that I have the power and I have the choice to respond in any way that i choose.
This is what I hope for you. That after you listen to this video, think about how you can prime yourself by stepping into this new way of thinking and practice not taking anything personally.
I would love to hear your thoughts about this so make sure and scroll down and leave a comment below.
I hope that you found value in today’s episode.
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead and I look forward to seeing you back here next week.
Are you ready to learn how to not take things personally??? SCHEDULE your FREE Breakthrough Call with Lori today HERE: https://calendly.com/lorilandercoaching/yourbreakthroughcall
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