In this episode you will learn:

  •  What an assumption actually is
  •  How making assumptions affects our daily lives
  •  One simple strategy you can apply to help you stop making assumptions

SCHEDULE your FREE Breakthrough Call with Lori HERE. 

TRANSCRIPT

Don’t Make Assumptions –  The Third Agreement

Are you aware of how often you actually make assumptions on any given day? 

I really wasn’t. 

I had no idea how much I assumed things until after I read about the 3rd agreement. “Don’t Make Assumptions” in the book the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. 

By the way, if you haven’t read this book I highly recommend it!

I had never really taken the time to notice that many of my thoughts and the stories that I tell myself are based on assumptions. This was a huge aha for me!

And I want to break this third agreement, “Don’t Make Assumptions” down for you so you can better understand why this is so important. 

In this episode you will learn:

  •  What an assumption actually is
  •  How making assumptions affects our daily lives
  •  One simple strategy you can apply to help you stop making assumptions

We as women have powerful imaginations and our creative minds are always thinking about something or creating another story in our minds. Many of these stories that we dream up are simply that…stories that hold absolutely no truth. These stories are created in our minds as we imagine what others may be doing, what they may be thinking, what they may be saying about us and they can be very powerful and believable. Many of these stories that we dream up hold absolutely no truth or no proof and yet we believe they are real and accept them as our truth. These are assumptions. 

Have you ever been in the middle of a text conversation with someone and you are telling them about something that is going on with you and being vulnerable in the text and then you do not get a reply back? Can you relate to what I am talking about? And then your mind starts racing and you start making up stories as to why they have not texted back? And you are thinking maybe I was too vulnerable? Or maybe they think I am oversharing? Or I wish I could take that text back…. And maybe I should send another text to follow up and cover up for whatever it was I previously texted….And your mind starts going in 10 different directions? If so you are not alone! This is a common issue and this is one example of how we begin making assumptions. 

What can happen with assumptions is that they tend to snowball. One assumption can lead to another assumption and before you know it an entire story has been created. And then what happens is you tend to take these stories very personally. These stories can affect your daily life in all sorts of ways including increased stress, and anxiety, lots of drama,  blaming other people, blaming yourself, and expending lots of time and energy worrying. 

So you can see how assumptions can really affect you if you allow them to. 

Taking control of your thoughts is an important part of stopping yourself from making assumptions. One simple and effective strategy that you can begin doing to stop making assumptions is to practice mindfulness daily. Simply noticing when certain thoughts arise is where your power lies. And once you notice a thought enter your mind and you begin to create a story around that thought, challenge your thought or challenge your story. Ask yourself if that thought or that story holds any truth or is based on any facts. So rather than focusing all of your energy and ruminating about what you think the truth is, mindfulness will help you focus your attention on what is actually true.

I am Lori Lander, Confidence Coach for Women and I hope that you have found value in today’s episode. 

If making assumptions is getting the best of you and you are feeling that you need help working through this, feel free to email me at Lori@LoriLanderCoaching.com

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead and I look forward to seeing you back here next week.

SCHEDULE your FREE Breakthrough Call with Lori HERE. 

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