Are You A Chronic Apologizer?

“I’m sorry!”

Is this a phrase that you find yourself uttering more often than you intend it to? This can be an automatic reaction, especially when you are apologizing for things you have no control over! 

There are absolutely situations in which a heartfelt and meaningful apology is called for. But if you find yourself constantly apologizing, it may be time to take a deeper look into why you feel compelled to do so.

Saying sorry may make you feel like you are being kind and considerate, but this action can backfire! If you are always apologizing, you can inadvertently send the message that you are lacking confidence. 

So why is over-apologizing such a common occurrence? Well, there are many reasons! You may be overly concerned about disappointing others and being considered impolite. Sometimes we use the phrase when we are feeling uncomfortable and don’t know what else to say. It also could be a reflection of how we feel about ourselves; maybe you are always worried you are doing something wrong. And, of course, saying sorry frequently can simply become a habit that’s hard to shake!

Thankfully, there are some simple techniques you can incorporate to reduce the amount of time you spend apologizing!

You can start by mindfully observing yourself and making a mental note of the times you apologize. Think about how you felt right before apologizing and why you felt compelled to do so. Are you accepting blame for things you can’t control, or for the actions of other people? 

Developing another phrase you can utilize may be helpful when you feel the need to apologize but know it isn’t necessary. Some go-to phrases could include “thank you for waiting” instead of apologizing for being late, using “excuse me” instead of “I’m sorry,” or “thank you for bringing this to my attention” instead of apologizing for a harmless mistake.

Remember, you do not need to apologize for having needs. You do not need to apologize for asking questions, for your feelings, for your appearance, for not having every answer, or for things you did not do and cannot control. It is okay for you not to apologize for being you!

Knowing when to apologize, and when not to, is a crucial skill to develop! Replacing a habit that no longer serves you with one that does takes time and practice, so don’t give up hope if it takes some work! 

Awareness of how you are using “I’m sorry” is the first step towards making this change. You’ve got this!

If you are ready to begin following your path to happiness, schedule a FREE Breakthrough Coaching Call! You will have the opportunity to dream big, uncover what may be holding you back and learn how you can live a life that feels balanced and joyful!